


Just Another Thursday Night [+Podfic]

by Writer_or_Whatever



Series: Harry Potter AUs [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Asexual Sirius Black, Awkwardness, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, James is a little shit, M/M, Matchmaking, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 02:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14463159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_or_Whatever/pseuds/Writer_or_Whatever
Summary: The one where Sirius is asexual and awkward and this is all James’s fault, honest.Based on this prompt: “My friends dared me to buy 20 condoms but I didn’t realize that the cute cashier would be working tonight so I avoided eye contact as I piled them onto the counter and please stop laughing so hard, oh my god it’s for a dare okay I’ve never had sex in my life and once you stopped laughing, I swear I fell in love with that sparkle in your eye as you grinned widely at me and asked me out for a drink AU” (Blog: @marspersonified via @dailyau on Tumblr)





	Just Another Thursday Night [+Podfic]

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this prompt on my tumblr and I laughed so hard, then I got an idea for a short little Asexual!Sirius thing and here we are.
> 
> Download the Podfic [Here.](http://www.mediafire.com/file/848c99ohcbo68mg/Just_Another_Thursday_Night_Audio)

Sirius walked into the convenience store on the corner of Fifth and Main, head down, as he headed to the back, absolutely mortified and also slightly angry at his idiot best friend and his idiot truth or dare antics.  _ I dare you to buy some condoms, Sirius _ , James had said. Oh yeah, really hilarious, dare the Asexual to buy 20 condoms that he’ll never use, ha bloody ha. He grabbed the first 20 of the individually wrapped condom packages that he saw, not caring if they were all the same or not (it’s not like he’ll ever use them), and walked to the checkout, head down, resolutely not looking at the cashier as he rang him up. 

 

“Never thought I’d see you buying something like this, Sirius. You must have some really wild night planned.” The cashier said, laughing a little. 

 

_ Fuck.  _ It was Thursday night, which meant that Remus, the really cute cashier with the Welsh accent and curly brown hair and cute hazel eyes that he constantly gushed about to James, was working. The same cashier that had told him how much he liked his pride pins he wore on his jean jacket, the one he was currently (always) wearing, including his Ace Pride pin. Great, now he was doubly embarrassed, and still mad at James. 

 

“Uh, yeah. James dared me to  buy them. Being Ace and all, must make for an excellent joke or something.” He was blushing furiously, and still not looking Remus is the eye.  _ I’m going to fucking kill James. Ohmygodohmygod, please just finish scanning them all so I can pay and leave and never show my face in here again. Why did I have to buy  _ 20 _?!? _

 

“It is kinda funny, highlight of my evening, actually. Anyway, it’ll be 22 dollars and 7 cents.” Sirius payed and grabbed the bag containing his ridiculous dare from Remus and practically ran for the door. 

 

Right before he went outside, though, Remus’s voice stopped him, “Hey, Sirius.”

 

Sirius stepped back into the store and out of the open door, “Yeah?”

 

“Would you maybe like to get a drink sometime?” Sirius met Remus’s eye for the first time since stepping into the small store that night. 

 

“Yeah?” He didn’t mean it to sound like a question, but it did. He was used to being asked out, he was a fairly attractive guy after all, but not by someone he actually  _ liked _ . 

“Yeah. Maybe tonight if James doesn’t have any other ridiculous plans for you? My shift is over at ten.” Remus was smiling and still looking Sirius in the eye, and he sounded so sincere. 

 

“I’d like that, Remus.” Sirius was smiling now too. 

 

“Meet you here at ten, then?” 

 

“Yeah,” And, with that, Sirius headed back out into the evening air to find his doofus of a best friend and give him the damned condoms. 

 

“How’d it go?” James asked, a stupid shit-eating grin on his face, as Sirius came over to his car that he was leaning against, waiting for him to be done in the store. 

 

“It was painfully awkward and embarrassing, what did you expect?” 

 

“Yes, I figured the whole condom thing would be, but how was Remus? I saw you talking to him in there.” The shit-eating grin had not left his face, if anything, it had gotten larger. 

 

“You fucking knew he was working, what the hell, James! Did you send me in there to embarrass myself in front of him?” Sirius was yelling and jumping on James, tackling him to the strip of grass that seperated the parking lot from the sidewalk by the road, and both of them were laughing. 

 

“Maybe, but it worked didn’t it?” They were on the ground and Sirius was on top of James and he couldn’t see his face at this angle, but he could hear the fucking shit-eating, I’m up to something, smile in his voice still. 

 

“Fuck you, James” Sirius said it without malice though, not really upset about the whole thing, but definitely a little embarrassed still. 

 

“At least use one of the condoms you bought, mate.” 

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on tumblr at [@writer-or-whatever](https://writer-or-whatever.tumblr.com/), feel free to drop a request, they're open. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this fic, consider supporting me on [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/writer_or_whatever).


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